A crew member then handed me a robe; catching feelings in this line of work is stupid and it wouldn’t matter once the video is online anyway, I’d just catch feelings for a different man. But there was something different about him, something that drew me in. Maybe it was the way he would sneak glances at me even when the camera wasn’t rolling or the way his touch lingered a little longer than necessary. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t help the way I felt.
As we lay there in silence, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of sadness wash over me. I knew that this was the last time I would see him, and even if by some miracle we did cross paths again, we could never be more than what we were in that moment. A fleeting encounter, destined to be forgotten once the producer called it a wrap.
I watched as he hastily dressed, not even bothering to look back at me as he made his way out of the door. It was then that I realized that I was just another face in the crowd to him, another pretty girl who was just a means to an end. There was no way I could tell him that I loved him, that I wanted something more, because to him, I was nothing.
I sat there for what felt like hours, trying to make sense of the emptiness that I felt inside. Was this what I was destined for, a life of meaningless encounters and unrequited love? I knew that I had to snap out of it, that there was no room for emotions in this industry. And so I picked myself up, put on a brave face, and left the set, knowing that I would never be the same again.